It's been 2 months since starting the "Plan" and I knew things weren't going to be picture perfect. I rode Wednesday and when I got back I felt my big toe was very sore. I knew what was coming, GOUT! I started drinking as much water spiked with Black cherry extract that I could stomach. I went to bed thinking that I caught it early enough but I woke up at 11:30 that night in excruciating pain. Who knew a big toe could bring a grown man to his knees. I spent all night and the next day trying to ease the pain.
Friday (day 3) was spent doctor hopping from one to the next and eventually ending up in the ER. To make a long story short I doubt I will be able to race this weekend. I'm really disappointed! I wanted to complete the entire 5 race series. In one sense I feel like I failed - no it wasn't my fault but that doesn't change the fact that I set a goal that I can't complete. That pisses my off!
In another sense maybe I have won because I'm so disappointed in not being able to compete. Have I turned a corner where the disappointment of not competing sucks more than the pain of competing? Am I actually enjoying the suffering and pain? I admit I'm so addicted to the endorphins! I love competing! I love laying it all on the line. Going for broke! Emptying the tank! I love going toe to toe and seeing who gets to the finish line first. I love the feeling in my legs the day after a hard race. Racing is all about the moment - I'm not thinking of anything except how to beat the guy in front of me. It's about improving!
I know I need to think long term but I'm wanting to beat that next guy. I guess we will see Sunday. If I can walk it's going to be hard not to get on the bike and race.
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